Often times, in life, there are stressful events that happen to us that cannot be avoided. It can be challenging to move on. One might say everything will be okay, but really, it is easier said than done. I mean, how can someone know what you are going through or how you are feeling if you do not tell them right? You are different from others. You process these emotions differently than others. I’m no different. We all go through stressful events in our lives, but how is it that other people can process it better?
Some situations are worse than others that a stressful event turns into a traumatic event, in which case you might need professional advice. Some situations though, we can make better through changing the way we see things. In fact, the number one key in how to develop positive thinking is…. You.
Everything starts with you, your point of view, your attitude, your acceptance. There are things you can start right here, right now.
Make yourself feel better. Stay positive. Smile. My goal is to introduce you to different angles in how to deal with what life might throw at us. To get you to smile and to convert at least some of those negative energy into positive ones. The little things are sometimes not so little. We should count the small victories too.
I always say at work, “if you survived your worst day, then you will survive today. If today is the worst day, then we have to survive today”.
For as long as I breathe, there is hope. Have faith.
The first thing I want to talk about is acceptance. It is very important and the most challenging. There’s a reason why it’s THE last stage of grief(Source). Once you have done this, you will find everything else can come through a little easier.
I must be honest, I struggle with this in certain situations. That’s just the way life goes. Some days are just harder than others. You are not alone. It might not work for everyone for every situation. It doesn’t always work for me but it is nice to remember some guidelines, one of those is being able to accept that things will go wrong, as it is with Murphy’s Law.
Accept the fact that you need help, but more importantly, accept the fact that you have to help yourself first, before someone can effectively help you. Don’t you find it easier to help those who help themselves? The same goes for you. There is always room for improvement and you are more than capable in doing so.
This is your first challenge to do right here, right now…accept. Life is a force that constantly challenges you at different times in your life, and once you have decided to accept the challenges, you must do what other challengers do…prepare for it. Your mind, your body, your soul.
One thing that I do that gets me through the day is to listen to sounds that set me in the right mood before I go to work, or sounds that calm me down after a hard day. What sets the mood? What calms you down? I say sounds because this could be anything….music, audio books, comedy radio, podcasts, etc…but it has to be something that makes you feel good. Hearing the right words could just be that positive energy we’re looking for during the rainy days. You can do this right here, right now, while you are reading this article. Put on some music or listen to the TV. Of course, this is up to you.
There is this human need to fill in the loud silence, sometimes called “awkward silence”, when it happens. We say “umm..” or “uhh…” in the middle of conversation or we listen to music or some sort of sound when going to bed. I knew someone who had a device that produced artificial sound like white noise, waterfalls, crickets, and others while she slept. A number of the elderly has this device. It helps them fall asleep. It calms them down, it makes them feel good.
There is magic in words. Sometimes hearing them from the right person, or group, through the right media, with the right words, can bring you positive energy. Have you ever heard a song or a quote and you felt goosebumps all over? Now how is it that with just those few words, it had that effect on you?
I encourage you to listen to motivational speakers and to successful people and hear what they have to say. I’m sure you’ve heard one form of it or another, you actually just read it in the first few paragraphs, “The change starts with you”.
Listen to the positive things that actors say in movies and TV shows. There are lessons all around that you hear, the challenge is to listen to the lesson its message. How does it make you feel and does it make sense? Not everything is applicable to you, choose the lessons that apply. You’ll be surprised by how much positive energy it can produce. The message sometimes isn’t in the words you hear, it’s in between the lines.
There are times wherein I would hope for an event to go smoothly, and all day I would have so much anxiety that something might slip, and everything would go wrong. It has happened so many times that I can get so anxious and not look like it at all. A few reasons why this is so. One, I know that if I showed that I’m have an anxiety attack, it might actually worsen the problem, and two, it might cause a domino effect where everyone else around me also gets anxious, in which case will be a bad day. You never know who you’re affecting. So when this happens, I take maybe five minutes for myself, do my deep breathing, and listen to music. If I can’t listen to music, then I ask questions and listen to some sage advice from those who have encountered the same issues I’m dealing with.
Once in a while, I would read inspirational and motivational quotations, poems, success stories, or any reading material that I can pick some positivities off of. Words are magical, in which also are powerful. It can change the way you think or the way perceive. It can make you understand why things are the way they are, and educate yourself. Words can be so powerful that it can move a whole nation. Such is the case of the Filipino hero, Dr. Jose P. Rizal (Source). He wrote two novels– “Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo”— and sparked a fire that forever changed the fate of the Filipino people. His words were so powerful that it motivated and inspired the Filipino nation to fight for their freedom and independence. The novels had so much power that it got Dr. Jose Rizal executed.
When was the last time that you read something that made you change your mind? My father would always tell me when I was younger, “Be a wide reader. It broadens the mind.” Over the years, I also learned that reading can take you to places you’ve never been before. You can travel without ever leaving your location, and learn at the same time about worlds beyond our imagination.
Since the dawn of the internet, there is a vast amount of information online, free at your disposal. Read success stories from individuals just like you. Read about a successful person and find out how they think and live. How did they become successful? How did they start? You might be surprised by how much similar we are to them. Read and nourish your mind.
As you read this article, right here, right now, you are already learning. Do not stop learning. Strive to be different from others and continue being a student.
Jim Rohn said, “Learn to be a good student”. We all learn differently. We process information differently and come to a conclusion differently. But we all learn. Take in what is positive from successful and happy people. Learn from your mistakes and others’ mistakes. Write down notes, your feelings, your ideas. Write something bad. For all these are yours, and nobody can ever take that from you.
If you want to remember something, write them down. If you’re not like the gifted few who can remember everything, then don’t trust your memory. Write them down. Absorb. Ask questions. Be curious. Write notes.
Don’t absorb the negative energy, let them flow and learn from them. Instead, absorb the positive energy, the ones that do good, and also learn from them. You might ask how we differentiate negative energy from positive? Simple, if it hurts you or someone else in any way, then it must be negative. On the other hand, if it helps you and makes you feel better about yourself, it must be positive. Do not hurt others, and do good. Simple right? Yet very challenging to some.
We can almost learn from everything that we can put our mind to, from movies, music, books, other people, but the real challenge however is, can you apply what you have learned to your own life?
Some few habits that I practice to develop positive thinking effectively is to accept that the change starts with me.
In order for one to be helped effectively, One must first accept to help themselves. Change your attitude in life. Be inspired and motivated.
Listen to the messages, or the hidden messages. Listen to sounds that make you feel good. Listen to great speakers, motivators, successful, and happy people. You never know what you might pick up from simply just listening to them.
Read and broaden your knowledge. There is power in words. It can turn your whole day around, and to some people, their whole life.
Learn from mistakes, and from success. Learn from negative energy, and absorb the positive energy.
Write notes. Write your ideas, your feelings, your thoughts. Write down your experiences and reflect. Keep a journal and maybe you will want to pass it on to future generations.
Love yourself a little more. Love LIFE a little more.
There is so much to see and so much to learn, and just one life in this world. Robin Williams said in the film, The Dead Poet’s Society,
“Carpe Diem. Seize the day boys. Make your lives extraordinary”.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skills. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.
The remarkable thing is we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing that we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how we react to it.
And so it is with YOU….you are in charge of your attitude!!”